The Computer

  For me, one of the greatest tests of my patience involves my father's old Microsoft computer.
  You see, my Dad gave it to me as a test of responsibility.  I'm still using it, so that's a pretty good sign!
   Anyway, whenever I log on, it runs fine.  However, when I open, close, or refresh applications or tabs, time just seems to stop.  Sometimes I wait patiently.  Other times, especially if I'm not doing anything very important on it, I'll just walk away grumbling.  These two actions only occur when I'm feeling patient or just in a very good mood.  Unfortunately, more often than not, I do not have the patience to deal with it.  I am sometimes tempted to flip the desk, Hulk style.  I ignore this temptation, but it gets pretty darn close.

The Popcorn Problem

   I have become slightly concerned with my inability to make popcorn.  Although we have the recipe and the popcorn seeds, we have to make and cook the popcorn ourselves.  Even though I follow the recipe EXACTLY, four outcomes seem to happen:

1. The popcorn gets burned
2. The bag AND the popcorn explode
3. A combination of the first two 
4. The popcorn barely gets cooked at all

   You're probably wondering why when the bag explodes, it doesn't burn.  Well, I manage to be watching the popcorn before it gets REALLY burned.  

   Anyway, I've done some experimenting, and have come to the conclusion that there appears to be a "magic" amount of seeds, a little over a third (no exact measurement for it) and a "magic" position the bag must lay in order to have decent popcorn.  Even then, not all of the seeds get popped.

   There is one other small let down.  I seem to be the only one of my family with this problem.  Rather than finding this situation embarrassing, I find it frustrating.  I mean, come on;  I want my popcorn, not a crusty, shriveled excuse for food.

The Pillsbury Dough Man

   Walmart is a decent place.  Cheap merchandise, a new grocery pick up station, and good location (for us anyway).

   One day however, we were driving home after finishing some errands, and I saw a disgusting sight.  An old man was standing beside his car.  WITHOUT A SHIRT ON.  He wasn't doing to well hiding himself.  Just kinda standing there, not getting into his car or doing much of anything at all.  His skin was very light, didn't seem to have much tan on him.  (With the windows up) I said the first thing that came to my mind:  "Look, and old man without a shirt on!"  My family got a kick out of it.  The I realized:  He looks a lot like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, but older.  So, from that moment on, I refer to him as the "Pillsbury Dough Man."
   A word of advice for everyone reading this:  Keep all of you're clothes on in public.  Please.  It's understandable at a pool, or a mini football game at your house, but NOT at Walmart.

Bowling Made Awkward

   Not too long ago, my grandparents, dad, brothers and I decided to go bowling while my mother had a clothing party.  We all got our bowling shoes on after paying and headed for our lane.  When we got there, a large T.V presented our names and our scores (zero.  Duh.).  Here is what the roster looked like:  (Some of these are not the actual names posted, but I am keeping it this way for privacy.)

1. Grandpa
2. Dad
3. Brother
4. Other Brother
5. Cable

   Wait, WHAT???  Who on earth is Cable?!?!?!

   Apparently,  the people who worked at that particular bowling alley were either hard of hearing or just weren't paying attention.  They seemed to believe that Caleb was the same thing as Cable.  I mean, it's a tiny error, but who would name their kid Cable?

   For the rest of the time when we were there, whenever it was my turn, I could see the text on the bigscreen say:

                        YOU'RE UP, CABLE!

Average Origins

    This blog's origin comes from a few months ago when I started making little comics in my sketch pad.  These drawings were about me, whether I had come up with a brilliant idea or simply making a fool of myself.  However, I took lots of time to make all the other characters in my drawings.  Each character had distinct and unique details that made them original.  When it came to drawing me, I simply drew a stick figure.  The way I saw it,  I was completely average.  My actions define who I was.  If I was a "sporty person", it was because I was DOING something involving sports, not necessarily SAYING or LOOKING like I play or like sports.

   Back to the topic of other people.  Because I did not know them as much as I knew myself, I define them by their LOOKS.  Think of the word average as describing me. If someone passed by me, wearing stylish clothes, had lots of money in their pockets and had the most recent type of phone, they would be higher/better than average (me).  If I passed a person wearing a dirty tank top, having to use his phone for EVERYTHING, and is unable to do small problems alone, and he talks very slowly, we can then conclude that he is lower than average (me).

   I had the plot, characters, and setting all picked out, but I needed a name for this project.  I thought and thought for a good 15 minutes.  Just then, I heard the phone ring.  At that moment, I knew exactly what to call it:

                                                                  

                        THE AVERAGE CALLER