Saturday, August 5, 2017

1-800 callers: Meet Ronald's Chicken farm

   An unfortunate fact of life for some people is 1-800 callers.  I seem to fall under this category.  I wouldn't mind one or two 1-800 people calling me.  Five minutes of my time won't make me go ballistic.  What makes me rage is when they come in swarms.  5 to 8 1-800 calls a day!  ARE YOU SERIOUS PEOPLE?!?!?
   I can't get things done when the phone starts ringing, and I have to get up and see who it is, only to find it's another 1-800 caller.  The other night I asked myself:  "What would be a logical solution for this mess?"  I came up with several answers:
  1. Each time a 1-800 caller calls me, politely tell them to take me off of their calling lists
  2. Ignore it
  3. Turn phone volume down 
  4. Yell "Howdy!  You have reached Ronald's Chicken farm!  Do ya like chickens, pardner?" into my phone                                                                                                                                                  
          (I am fairly certain there is no Ronald's Chicken Farm, but in case there is, I apologize)  
Now, after think hard about the solutions, I tried to think of ways they won't work:
  1. It's not the same 1-800 caller each time, so It will make no difference.  Soon, another one will take their place.  Then another.  Then another...
  2. Same as #1.  Will make no difference.  They will keep calling back, so I will eventually have to resort to a different option. 
  3. What about all the other innocent people who aren't 1-800 callers and deserve my time?
  4. Hmmm...                                                                                                                                       
(Just so you know, I have one of those old Verizon flip phones, so my options were limited)
  Number 4 was perfect!  If I was going to have to listen to my phone ring like crazy, let's at least enjoy the result!
   And so, I am now content with the 1-800 callers.  As I walk over to answer my phone, I can't help but think "prepare to talk to Ronald's Chicken farm."
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